From my journal 1/24/2016
The young women has created something new. She's taken unworked lengths of wood and formed them into a unique shape with a trough down the middle. This design makes the wood very useful. She shows it to her powerful male friend.
She and I go to visit this friend and he’s taken the young women's brilliant idea and made his own wood pieces. She tells him they aren't the same as hers. She pinches the lip of his pieces and the wood breaks off between her fingers - a cheap copy. He intends to market the wood as his idea. The young woman is angry and hurt.
The three of us are walking on the beach, back to the woman's workshop. A wave rises up and engulfs the young woman. She’s lost in the curl of the wave. The wave deposits her on the beach close to the water’s edge. She can’t move. She’s too beat up. I take her arm and try to drag her to safety. Before I can, another wave comes and takes her. Again, she is ravaged by the wave and then laid out on the beach.
I take her arms quickly and drag her to a spot some distance from the water. The man still doesn’t understand that he’s hurt the young woman. He just doesn’t get it. I go to him, pounding on his chest, trying to get him to see. He goes to the young woman and picks her up. She’s still unconscious and is limp in his arms. He carries her to the path (leading back to her workshop). He wants to do right by her but doesn’t know how.
I see it. I see the misunderstanding between the young woman and the powerful man. I see it with my whole heart and the pain of it hits me. It’s so much pain I can’t stay standing. I hit the ground on my bended knees, my head to the ground. My body is compressed with the weight of the sadness that’s within me and pressing down all around me. I’m sad beyond words, seeing what is missing, wanting the man to see it.
The crushing sadness is the realization of a belief system that allows the powerful man to assume entitlement to the beauty and goodness of the young woman. I wake up knowing that it’s a sadness too big to be held in a conscious state, the sadness of the misjudged, misunderstood and misused woman. The sadness for the "powerful" man who can't find his own connection to Creation.