It's been simmering in me - the question. The mysterious, unknown nature of the feminine - the context, the darkness, the void from which all is born.
Maybe I'm just now touching it, aligning with it. Less fear getting in the way.
The mistaken belief was that I was small, smaller than the context I found myself in, smaller that my family, my community, my church, the attitudes of the world toward me as a woman.
So many circles of influences, all insisting that I play myself down so that they could feel comfortable.
There was nowhere for me to fit 'out there', so I went in. In the silence, through the doorway of my heart broken open, I found access to a larger context.
Fields of subtle realities.
And one of the fields is the Feminine - the Mother - and it's BIG. In it's absolute form, it's the field from which everything in the Universe is created. In relative terms, it's the feminine - accepting, nurturing, holding, protecting, tending, sustaining, loving.
It's the original creative energy. Tap into the infinite field of the feminine and bring forth from that place.
Meditation, silence, allows gaps between thoughts - thoughts that are the program of our culture. As the gaps widen, new ideas and awarenesses from the Creative Field are allowed to float up into our conscience awareness. This practice strengthens our relationship with the bigger context of the Feminine Creative.
Go wider. Go deeper. Get bigger.
Go to a different place than where you've already been - outside what has been offered, beyond the definitions of this well-defined world.
The belief that was holding me back? "I am defined by this physical, masculine-oriented, power-driven context."
As I've nurtured and strengthened an awareness of this femininity, this Feminine Creative, the limits of this physical world and it's assumptions, structures, definitions and games, are easier to see, easier to leave behind.
I'm returning to the Feminine, in order to experience myself as accepted, held, nurtured, sustained, loved, protected.