A journal entry from my book - July 2002
A moment of remembering...
When love assumes a forward position in my awareness, when I invite it out of the cheap seats, and into it’s rightful place, front and center, I know it. An undercurrent of calm and a sense of breadth open up inside my chest. Perception is affected. I’m able to imagine Al and me, both of us happily engaged in our concerns. I can see him in his uniqueness, behind his desk or coming out of the shower, and warmth for him fills me. I have space in my world for what he is, without judgment, without an urge to correct or adjust. The reflex to assume a contrasting position simply doesn’t happen. We are two fish, swimming in a very large ocean, both at home, both sustained, buoyant in the water. His activity may affect the water that surrounds me, cause movement my way, only a nudge. I am assured. There is no fear that the ocean will suddenly dry up. The water is there for me, regardless.
When Al stopped insisting one of us had to be wrong. When he didn’t have to talk so much, bring me into line with his point of view, when the idea of controlling the outcome became obviously ludicrous, love had a chance.
I see him more clearly than ever, sense myself more powerfully – bare naked awareness – without the urge to censor, no audience, no need to create an impression. Within the context of acceptance I can see us more truly and distinctively ourselves, loving both of us with an appreciation that enlivens me."